


Don't Ever Change

by theplushfrog



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Complete, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-14
Updated: 2008-11-14
Packaged: 2017-11-13 23:04:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theplushfrog/pseuds/theplushfrog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had been so concerned with her within his defenses, so that he hadn't even thought of himself within hers. He hadn't thought he could spark such emotion in himself or others, not after—well he wouldn't think of that now—but still, here she was, sobbing quietly against him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Ever Change

"Do you want me to change?"

Remus, who didn't quite know what to do with his hands now, knit his brows together. "Well, if you would prefer to change into something more comfortable, I'll wait out here for you." He said, thinking of her sweat pants and various band shirts Tonks often wore to bed, figuring that this… this touching _thing_ —whatever this was—was over and she wanted to sit and read together or something now.

Tonks gave him a quizzical look. "I… meant change, like—my face or something," She lifted her hands from his waist and her hair turned blue, grew longer, then into short gold curls, her other features morphing into various shapes, as if to advertize what she could do.

Remus blinked and stared at her. "Why would I want you to change your face?"

She looked startled, her features snapped back into her typical heart-shaped face and pink spikes. "Well…" She blinked slowly, not looking at him anymore, "Most people like a metamorphmagus's ability to change, because then they can look like anyone… like the person's favorite actor or—"

"People actually said that to you?" He interrupted: something he rarely did but couldn't stop from doing at hearing such a thing.

Tonks looked up, but not really at him. Her movements seemed slow and controlled now, as if she didn't know quite how to react suddenly. But she  _always_  knew how to take action in  _any_ situation… this was very change for him to see. "Yes. Yes, they did." Her face seemed closed and carefully stilled. Matter of fact, her entire body seemed odd, as if he was holding an awkward, living doll, instead of the cousin of one of his best friends, and possibly the only reason he could still smile these days.

His reaction caught even himself off guard. A type of fury rose in his middle and he felt his expression twist because of it. She didn't seem to react, as if she was suddenly made of wood instead of flesh. Her eyes seemed glazed over as she watched his facial muscles shift under his skin, as the rage tried to escape through his pores. Finally, controlling himself enough to voice his feelings so he wouldn't simply explode, it seemed, from this new powerful emotion.

"Never," He said in a near growl, that shocked some part of his mind that wasn't already overflowing with rage, "Never let anyone tell you that you have to change to  _their_  whims." His hand seemed to move on its own accord, acting on instinct alone, as he brushed her cheek softly, "You are you. If they want you, they should want  _you_ , not your magic or your body." His thumb drew tender circles on her jaw, "Don't let anyone have you for anything less then all of you: mind, body, and soul. And, my dear, you have the most electric soul, I've ever seen. Don't let it go to waste."

A wet drop distracted him as it ran down his thumb, settling on his bony wrist.

His eyes had been so focused into hers that he hadn't noticed the silent tears spilling down their corners. Remus watched one's quiet path across her lips before catching it with his callused thumb. He touched her face lightly, as if she was a frightened bird about to bolt and he was trying to coax it to trust him.

Suddenly her whole weight was shoved into him and her rounded chin dug into his shoulder and her button nose into his neck. A sob shuddered down her spine and he wrapped his arms around her, suddenly awkward. He didn't quite know how to touch people anymore, and had certainly never held someone like this—except maybe Sirius— _broken sobs against his bandaged chest as Padfoot told him of Snape, of how he had only meant it as a joke, of how so, so very, impossibly_ _ **sorry**_ _he was_ —but James and Peter had never needed his comfort in this way. But that had been long ago, and Remus still didn't quite understand how to touch, how to comfort, how to hold anyone.

He followed what instinct he had, and rubbed her back in what he hoped was calming circles. He also hoped she couldn't feel his hands shaking, because, truly, in a sense, he was utterly terrified by her.

She was so… She was like the strong taste of strawberries when you had been living on simple bread and water for years. She shocked him senseless at times with a word or an action— _the electric feel of her lips on his the first time_ —like the first cold bite of the sweet red berries: shocked him to the bone, settling every nerve on fire and it was nearly unbearable. Then she would sit with him and they would talk or read together or just sit— _It was late and she was curled comfortably on the couch, her head lay dozing on his shoulder, and her book, forgotten, draped over her lap. She was so peaceful like that_ —and it was like the addicting sweet-yet-also-tart-ness that would linger in his mouth for days, taunting him— _He watched her as she mixed the batter the Muggle way. She was so beautiful, he thought and found himself following her from room to room, like she was the only lantern in the forest, the only safety against the Darkness that threatened his mind at night_ —until he steeled himself— _the feel of her skin under his hand as he brushed her cheek gently_ —into another bite of the sweet strawberries.

Remus wasn't the kind of person who got along with others easily. He usually held people back behind many walls and rarely did he ever let a person in. He hadn't expected anyone else to weave their way in after Prongs and Padfoot were gone, and Wormtail just as dead to him.

But, she hadn't weaved her way through; she had elbowed her way, destroying the barriers that kept out the world as she went. She had walked up to his very core and started shoving sweet strawberries into his face: whether he wanted it or not.

He had been so concerned with her within his defenses, so that he hadn't even thought of himself within hers. He hadn't thought he could spark such emotion in himself or others, not after—well he wouldn't think of that now—but still, here she was, sobbing quietly against him.

After a while, her body shuddered less and her sobs grew milder in nature. He didn't think of what he was doing as he drew a finger along her soft jaw and lifted her face to his.

His lips grazed over her sweet skin, saying silently with every tender kiss across her features: ' _ **This**_ _is your face and I would have you no other way._ '

She slowly uncoiled, her muscles relaxing one by one under his chapped lips, in his strong arms. Her arms wound themselves around his waist, but her eyes remained closed, as if to say that she was scared this was only a dream which she would wake from eventually, even though every fiber of her being wanted to never leave this moment.

He kissed her eyelids softly, whispering against her skin, "Don't ever change. I love you as you are."

Eyes glossy with still unshed tears opened into amber-brown irises, and Remus found home.


End file.
